The Need to Spoil Christmas

I loathe the inclusion of politics in the Christmas season and social gatherings. It is so distinctly improper in my mind to inject it into the occasion. At an assembly when the time is supposed to suggest "goodwill" and acceptance of a certain human commonality, why would folks want to delve into any conversation so rife with easily missed land mines?

One of the most frequent assemblies at which this poor choice of topics occurs is the traditional company Christmas Party. In fact, the whole concept of a business Christmas Party is counter-directional. How often does business ever have much to do with social interaction? And why should it? It can only complicate and obfuscate the course of business.

Stir into this idea the specter of frilly platitudes and banalities that so often get spewed forth with the additional of a few doses of the always present fire water and you now have the makings of a genuine atom bomb. All we need now is a fuse, so let's frivolously imbibe in some politics, right?

Presto... BOOM!

I won't bring it up, but it seems like there is always some brassy smart aleck that feels the need to exhibit their own lock on "how things should be". And if you happen to be of the minority stripe (which is Republican, or better stated "Conservative" in these occupied lands which I call home) to participate in the forced dialogue is to pin a large bullseye squarely to the center of one's a**.

I have no problem with donning that 'bullseye sports wear'. In truth, I rather enjoy the dueling opportunity when it's a potentially fair fight. Over the years I have become somewhat adept at deflecting incoming salvos by utilizing my "secret weapon"... secret at least to most of those on the opposing side which are foolish enough to step onto this field in the first place. That relatively unknown defense tool is a cursory study of facts and history all forced into a memory that is considerably longer than the typical length of one's... little finger.

And that often leaves the opposition at a significant disadvantage, but they usually don't realize that until it's too late. It is entertaining to watch the facial reactions when you ask for specificity and individual examples of the broad, sweeping, critical vagueries that the average liberal faithfully parrots in their quest to display their personal grasp of the political spectrum.

Oh... you know, questions like;

"When/how exactly did 'Bush lie'?"

"How would we be more strategically secure on a world platform by ignoring the threats that ALL politicians roundly agreed upon before going into Iraq?"

"If we never found the WMD's, do you think that means they never existed or that we never found them... yet?"

"Where's all the oil we confiscated by going into Iraq?"

"How would we be in a better defense position with respect to Iran if the huge force presence we currently have next door to them wasn't there?"

"What components exactly do you credit to Hillary's vast claim of "world policy experience"?

"What are the attractive items within the concept of socialism that endear you to it?"

"Can you describe the unique differences between the idea of a 'democracy' vs. that of a 'constitutional republic'?"

"To what degree do you feel it is legitimate to embrace the advance of political correctness over national sovereignty, identity and original culturism?"

"Have you ever considered the notion that you might be... wrong?"

But I can't say these things. Nope. It has been deemed matrimonially illegal. I have been implored beforehand to "just smile and change the subject" or "just keep your mouth shut" for fear of future employment repercussions and a distasteful blend of the variant 'office politics' which would surely follow.

How nice. So it is not actually an opportunity for those present to render their opinions in an adult, congenial discussion or even a pseudo-debate. Rather it is a kiss up session, wherein you are expected, if not coerced, into mock agreement and perceived 'civility'. Don't make waves or the generated tsunami will drown you, boy!

I don't have Christmas parties. My employees never seem to require one... just the twice daily bowl of high quality canine nutrition followed by a genuinely loving series of head pats and low mumblings of "good dogs" and "Daddy's babies". I like it that way and they seem to be quite satisfied also.

And, once per year, because I love, honor and respect my dear wife's few and minimal actual requests... I attend, smile a lot and nod... all the while keeping my brain sequestered and my mouth firmly clamped shut. It is the most bitter four hours of each year for me, but she's worth it.

(A happy and blessed Thanksgiving to you all!)