No More Squirrel Stew
for New Jersey-ites...

Yet another tragic occurrence for residents of the liberal bastion of New Jersey! It was difficult enough for the few remaining hunters there to comply with the paperwork, rules and restrictions on getting a hunting license, legally possessing a firearm to hunt with and ultimately finding a place to hunt without being descended upon by three or more federal investigating agencies.

Now there is so much contaminating poop in the state that hunters have been advised to limit their weekly intake of squirrel meat to a mere two meals per seven day period! Outrageous!!

Therefore, my query becomes: If the state's squirrel population is contaminated, what is left there that is acceptable to eat??

Is one expected to also curtail their consumption of beaver, muskrat, opossum, rattlesnake and raccoon?? Eventually, this will relegate all residents to a diet of rice cakes and water (imported from elsewhere, of course). This lack of real woods protein will only surely exacerbate the rampant liberalism that has become so pervasive in the area!

Mark my words... Ignore this emergency and we will all suffer the resulting voting impact. I fear this could decidedly tilt the '08 Election and result in the nightmare of a President Hildebeast becoming a reality. I've even come up with the Republican nominee's campaign slogan...

"Save the New Jersey Rodents or endure the Biggest Rat of them all!"