The Critical Item

About a year ago, I happily had the opportunity to run into an ex-girl friend's daughter whom I had not seen in several years. When I first met her she was only twelve years old, about to turn thirteen. Now, quite to my surprise, I was looking at a poised and radiant young woman who is sneaking up on thirty!! Where does the time go?

We talked at length about what she was doing and what she had done since we were last in touch. After the unpleasant break-up between her mother and I (whom I affectionately refer to now as the "Wicked Witch of the West"), we kept in fairly close contact for awhile, but slowly drifted in different directions as our lives moved forward. She found it tough for us to continue the same great relationship we had built over time since her mother and I were no longer best buddies. It would have compromised the ease with which they could maintain a good mother/daughter exchange. All understandable and quite valid on both sides. Things change and people move on.

But on the rare occasion that we do stumble upon one another, it always spawns a flurry of hugs, memories, stories and smiles. This time was no different... sort of. But, in the course of our conversation, I found myself thinking that she had gained, hopefully assisted by my input, a key element that I believe chiefly determines how one conducts themself and how they treat those around them. It has direct bearing upon virtually all actions and reactions in the highway of life. Without provocation, she suddenly volunteered to me I had been a great guide in her growing years. What a welcome and kind reward for her to bestow upon me!

Regrettably now, I am not a parent and won't ever be. Even though this is by choice I am nonetheless very observant of people's children, what they do and how they interact. Long (loooooong) ago I was a child who had the good fortune to be born to exceptional parents. Perhaps this was less unusual than it is today? I truly think so. Thankfully, there are still some good ones remaining.

However, it is my firm belief that parenting is not the popular sport it once was. There was a time when people in general, maybe most people, took great pride in their parental duties and the skills required to adequately execute those duties. One parent staying home to raise the children was not considered a lackluster, demeaning or menial task. It was not considered to be a concession in life or "missing out" on the essentials of career building for all. It was a serious job and was revered as such. It was something to take great pride in. People did not consider day care as an absolute requirement so that both parents could move forward with their respective absolutely necessary and separate careers. Sometimes both parents worked, but at least one's primary "job" was that of raising fine children ...and in "good" families, both participated.

Today I guess that is just not as often possible for pure financial survival reasons ...or is it just perceived that way? Is it necessary ...or is it chosen?

My parents were divorced when I was quite young ...not quite twelve years old. My brother and I left with my mother and moved to Florida. Looking back now I know we were raised from then forward on very meager income and lots of hard work from our fantastic, unconquerable mother. She and my dad, although many miles apart and with great differences, continued to be excellent parents to us. That was because they both saw that as absolutely important ...their children came first ...always.

In the summers, I would return to my boyhood home and spend a precious two and a half months with my father. We were very close and as my teen years advanced, he surely allowed me more leniency than most kids my age... arguably too much. I did things that were not always right or good or the best choices at the time. But when I did things that were wrong, I had my own strangely self-imposed 'limits'. And when I strayed over the line of appropriate behavior, I was interestingly careful not to push too far. Many times I clearly recall wondering about that.

Why? Where did the boundaries come from when I was my own chaperone?

They came from that critical element that was imparted time and time and time again from a loving, caring, truly concerned mother and father. It is the ability to know the honest difference between right and wrong. I sure as hell was nothing even remotely resembling any angel, but when I did something wrong, I knew it was wrong. Sounds simple, huh? Perhaps it is, but it is nonetheless important, no... imperative!

It gave me the ability to build those self-imposed limits. It gave me a conscience. It caused me to think and for my parent imparted morals to quietly speak to me. It allowed me to look upon my acts from a third person perspective and judge myself remotely. It empowered me to shame myself, to ridicule and analyze my poor choices. It stopped me from committing the really rash, irrational, unfair and contemptible acts ...the permanent and long term mistakes that cannot ever be reconciled. It tempered my existence and forced me to build upon what I had learned and to grow as a person.

That sense of good and bad behavior that was beaten into me (sometimes literally) when I was a kid spilled over into every day of my life. Even when I knew I was screwing up and continued doing it anyway, knowing it was wrong moderated what I did next or didn't do next!

I think too many kids today never get any clear feedback on the big issues that fall as either definitely right or definitely wrong. It is a basic parental duty that too often gets overlooked or shunned off on others. It requires parents that care. It has long term ramifications that can balloon exponentially over time. Adolph Hitler, Benito Mussolini, Nicolae Ceauşescu and Iranian President Mahmud Ahmadi-Nejad were all children before growing up to become power hungry, ruthless murdering madmen. Could real parents who ranted daily about the basic differences between right and wrong (and set examples by their own behavior) have made a difference in their destinies? Perhaps not, and maybe a gross oversimplification on my end, but I find it hard to think that they or today's common terrorists had parents with much skill or true interest in what they were raising.

What kind of parenting do you think American traitor Adam Gadahn had?

It doesn't matter that the stripe that delineates right and wrong is often a thing of opinion, a bit blurry or thick. The most important issues are decidedly on their true side of the line. Murder, rape, theft, terror, deception can only be considered right by those who are evil. Basic right and wrong created the foundation from which all else in civilized society (and conservative values) has grown. Liberty, freedom, dignity, courtesy and common manners all begin with fundamental concepts of goodness.

The two broad conditions of good and bad are impossible to have peace without. And when large masses of people are so collectively askew on so much bad that it defines evil, war will result. Good people can lose ...goodness can lose, if people will not defend what is right and wrong. I hope there is enough goodness left to build true backbone to brave and defeat pure evil. Civilized mankind has never been so tested.


*UPDATE*

A–rabs ShooT their owN KidS

Insight and observation from a real Angel...


*UPDATE #2*

Take the time to read this man's dove tailing, hard hitting post. It, and he, are KEEPERS!